Catching Whispers

Life can throw you for a loop real quick

I know I am not in control

but simply hanging on for the ride

everything in my life as I knew it
 

changed

 

I am a fatherless daughter.

 



 

I lost my father this month

it's been a roller coaster for 5 long weeks

nothing prepares you
 

Our relationship was a tough one

we were two crosscurrents

at times it felt as rusty old barbwire
the kind that cuts real bad

but then after a while heals somehow

and leaves behind a scar

 

 a year ago I forgave him
for the past
the endless years of therapy
clean slate.
 

and met him where he was at...

 

He had Alzheimer's

 

however for me,
that sweetened the deal

he became softer and left a little space for me

and I no longer felt as if I had to hide behind a blade of grass

 

 

 we joked 

had interesting conversations

 some times several at one time

Alzheimer's does that

you just roll with it

he would sing

speak in German and Danish

sometimes just a mess

but it was our lovely mess

 

 

 now,
there are no more conversations
 no one to speak Norwegian with
 

 



 

Grieving him

has been an awakening

all the tears and the emptiness

reminds what is

 what is left

 

my soul feels raw

 

a deep breath in a deep breath out

 I stand alone

not so strong yet

but you know what they say about time.....

 



 

 an old greeting card that was sent to him from a Hawaiian friend was found

 the words has stuck in my head all week

 

" Pupukahi "

gather together

 family and friends

dearly around me
trying to protect me
against the pain I am feeling

 

 Pain throws your heart to the ground

love turns it all around
- John Mayer

  

difficult time of year to lose someone

 as we celebrate birth and joy to the world

 

 still a believer of miracles

 the last year was truly a year of closeness and love with my father
a gift
 

as I watched him pass away

lying my head next to his
draping my arm around his chest
so very fragile

 

catching his last whispers

 

Outside the leaves slightly fluttered in the frosty breeze of winter

knowing it was his time
....I let him go....

 

I love him with all my heart

 

wishing you all

Pupukahi

 this season

 

 enjoy what you have

 and who you are with

life is so precious

 

....and what I said about not being in control of your life

well, that's B.S

 you can control some things in your life and turn them around

just breathe and listen to your heart

 

wishing you all

peace and love

 

 

 

~ Blessings

 

 

Today is a grand day

 

1.  Last year I was victim of check fraud 5 people stole thousands of dollars from me and  from a few other folks in this area -from our mail boxes that are located on our roads....which is part of the rural charm here in the country. These guys hit the jack pot with me- they stole my whole check box newly ordered from the bank that I never received. For weeks they wrote out checks in my name, had fake drivers licenses made in my name ...all this locally.

I can't express how violated I felt- as if my identity was null and void.

 

Yesterday the case closed.

 

She/they pled guilty and have to pay restitution.

 

2. Visiting Norway this summer- I found out in a very "horrible" way my mamma had cancer. She was in hospital most of the time we were visiting. Needless to say we were all devastated.  She has healed completely and today I am picking her and her husband up at the airport to stay with us for 2 weeks.  If that isn't great enough- she is pondering upon moving to Montucky..so we will be looking at homes while she is here.

 

 

Good grief! Does it get any better???????

 

It's been a hard year - but today...well today, I am smiling from ear to ear. 

Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you.
~Rumi

Montana Morning

 

 

 

 

 

 

feed horses

breakfast

kids to school

 Lily

wet

early a.m. ride

 

Okay Monday...let's do this!

I'm still learning....

 

 

 

after the rain comes beautiful mornings filled with promise

 

mid September is pretty neat to still wear flip flops

there is still time for a swim before the snow flies

 

that the local thrift store holds so many treasures
 like these linen napkins

and as if that wasn't enough...some nice person had dropped off a WHOLE BOX of

large fabric sample from France- that I bought for 5 bucks

 how nice it is that the flowers in my garden are still blooming

how pretty weeds can look with a little morning dew

the advantages of leaving holiday trees up all year

... don't have to put them up this season

how much I really love to sew- and that, " I can do this"

how much I missed Auggie being away at fall retreat for 2 days .... yes, it was only 2 days

and how happy I am when things turn out

 that I can bake delicious zucchini bread

(with a green vegetable the size of a baby python)
recipe

 

" I'm still learning "
Michelangelo, age 87

 

So how was your week?

...and then - the rain

 

 

But the true lover of rain.... has a deep inner enjoyment of the rain, as rain, and his sense of its beauty drinks it in as thirstily as does the drinking earth. It refreshes and cools his heart and brain; he longs to go forth into the fields, to feel its steady stream, to scent its fragrance; to stand under some heavy-foliaged chestnut-tree, and hear the rushing music on the crowded leaves.
 ~John Richard Vernon, "The Beauty of Rain," 1863

 

 my favorite music that inspires me on this wet day.

Yarn along

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fini.

 

Clapo-Ktus

 

is done.

 

up ward and onward to new projects.

 

Obsessing over these books:

Stylish Dress book

Feminine Wardrobe

Sweet Dress book

 

L.o.v.e.

 

 

What are you knitting?

 Joining Ginny

 

Montana Morning

 

 

 

Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.

I vow to live fully in each moment.

-Thích Nhất Hạnh

 

 

 

morning light
path
harvest
blue sky
reading

 

Wishing you a peaceful morning

Sundavia Pearl

 

 

 This spring I have been working hard on jump starting my passion for creating.  I started selling and marketing my collection of vintage clothing. Ever since I was a kid I have worn vintage- but not really called it or acknowledged it as "vintage" or a "piece" it was just fun clothing that I would mix up- with the rest of my wardrobe. Looking back a pictures of chef and I in California I was always wearing vintage dresses.

 

I have a shop locally " Sundavia Pearl" here in Columbia Falls.

 

 "Montana Woman"  had a huge fashion show this summer and they featured Sundavia Pearl summer collection - there has been a wonderful response both to the collection and fashion show. So much so that they wrote an article on me here at Station 8 Blog and there will be a 2 page spread in the upcoming issue about my business.

 

..."now were cookin' with peanut oil"

Phil Robertson

 

Needless to say it been amazing, exhausting and absolutely wonderful - here is the interview if you would like to read ....Sundavia Pearl Clothing

 

 

Have great weekend.